That's What She Said.: Archive

That's What She Said.

December 2008

26 posts

Boner Diplomacy

In Afghanistan, “Whatever it takes to make friends and influence people — whether it’s building a school or handing out Viagra.”

peterfeld: If no one in the business can figure out how to make a decent return on the talents of the people I listed above — along with Moe, of course (whom I omitted only because she seems to be getting good work lately) — then the Internet and we who read it are in sad shape. “Seems” = ugh well whatever.

Support your Gawkers →

alexbalk: peterfeld: …And do we not notice that almost all of our favorite “golden age” ex-Gawker writers are unemployed or underemployed, despite having had that great platform and wide audience? Don’t we want to live in a media environment where people like Balk, Pareene, Choire, Emily, Sheila and Jesse can get decently paid for doing what they are so good at? I think I speak for all...

I command you to read this. →

(via alexbalk) Jim Newell.

Wait, I Can't Believe I Just Wrote An Entire...

Uh, how I overcame the adversity that was growing up next door to a cat restaurant: “Cats have a strong flavor. Dogs taste much better, but if you really want cat meat, I can have it delivered by tomorrow,” said the butcher, who gave only her surname, Huang. It was just this attitude that outraged about 40 cat lovers who unfurled banners in a tearful protest outside the Guangdong...

Adam Smith predicted everything! If we could only get ourselves a “Lost Decade” like Japan. But the rate of profit does not, like rent and wages, rise with the prosperity and fall with the declension of the society. On the contrary, it is naturally low in rich, and high in poor countries, and it is always highest in the countries which are going fastest to ruin. That and how I met...

I Hate To Say I Already Hate Obama's Economic Team...

I guess I am just a hater that way. If any regulatory body involved in this disaster has been a more abysmal failure than the SEC, it’s the “self-regulator” that was supposed to monitor all those concerns regulators had so steadily deregulated out from under them over the past ten years: mind-blowing overleverage and the attendant counterparty risk, unbridled short-selling,...

Dear Moe, I just found out that MoveOn.org was asking for nominations on what its goals should be for 2009. I registered as a user, but for whatever reason cannot browse to the page that will allow me to nominate a goal. As can be expected, liberals put up all sorts of stupid leftist platitudes like peace on Earth and social justice. Give me a break. If you have a big mailing list or...

"The comfort of a knowledge and I'll rise above...

Letters To Cleo seemed nineties enough in the nineties, but their hit song is so imbued with self assurance and millennial venture capitalist jargon it could have been written by Princess Stephany herself! I am seeing them tonight with Doree and Pressler, developing…

Socialism with Chinese* characteristics

*19th century railroad worker: “To be blunt about it, we manufacturers profit off the workers,” he says. “The only profit we make is on how low we can push the price of labor.”

Favreau's Sexist Photo Is No Laughing Matter →

doree: thepoliticalpartygirl: by Dee Dee Meyers “What’s bugging me is his intention. He isn’t putting his hand on her ‘chest,’ as most of the articles and conversations about the picture have euphemistically referred to it. Rather, his hand—cupped just so—is clearly intended to signal that he’s groping her breast. And why? Surely, not to signal he finds her attractive. Au contraire. It’s an...

Feminebriationism…and Fukuyama!

More self-pimping re self-medicating from XXF: “Trust” — the mystical ingredient that prompts people to shovel their driveways and pick up litter and correct inaccurate Wikipedia entries, join bowling leagues and not cheat on their taxes…is largely what my generation is trying to replace when we get bombed.

"I Find It A Bit Ridiculous Actually, Almost Like...

The economy, s… doree: Moe’s report from the Winter Wonderland Ball at the New York Botanical Garden, in the Observer: “There is this weird schizophrenia at events like this,” mused Margherita Missoni, the model-actress and heir to the Italian fashion house, who was standing nearby waiting patiently for the throng to clear the way toward the ballroom. “We know it’s happening, but obviously it...

"Ultimately, to adopt Tkacik’s philosophy of sex...

Someone defended me a lot more articulately than I did myself over that thing about “empowered” binge drinking that New York published today so I’m just linking that here. But in case you were wondering, I still, sometimes, feel pain.

Powerless Lunch

me: Hey what are you wearing.
CNBC: panries and a nightshirt  that would be panties   good joke, poorly executed 
me: So check out that Dow Jones!!! Up 334.79! 
CNBC: well, i guess individual taxation does not factor into equity valuation so that is OK am i being recorded yet? 
me: Do you want to be? 
CNBC: you should change the name of your blog to That's What He Said
me: Ha! I don't even know if you are a real dude. You could be a really awesomely warped lesbian obviously. The thought has occurred to me not infrequently! That would explain what you were doing on Feministing.
CNBC: Your use of proper grammar indicates that I am being recorded. I was only partially expecting that you would post my emails. 
me: I can unpost them if you want, I was not really expecting to but they were just too amusing to not share. 
CNBC: No, I think those were fine. I normally try to not express my annoyance at the permabullishness of the stock market in such harsh terms, but there were some instances on CNBC Sucks when I did. 
me: You know what I am fucking sick of is them talking endlessly about the 50% re-default rates and how these loan modification programs are "not working" and therefore Sheila Bair is a total failure. Fuck you fuckers, SHE did not go giving away trillions of dollars of the world's money to demented eighty year olds and the like. 
CNBC: This chat is like two sex addicts trying to behave at a job fair, until that last comment from you. 
me: Right, or one sex addict and one reporter who has never been to a job fair because journalism has been dying for her entire adult life. But speaking of journalists, it's your fave Trish Regan promising an interview with my fave Barney Frank. (Chemistry!!)  I am still a little puzzled as to why you think she is so hot. Her liquid eyeliner makes her look dumber than she probably is, seeing how she graduated in history from Columbia and worked at DE Shaw and shit. I just wish she would lay off the bronzer. She and fucking Rebecca Jarvis. 
CNBC: Can you tell if it is a bronzer or a bed? I knew about Feministing because I am a feminist...a feminist-misogynist.   
me: I think it's a mix of the two I mean, you know they have more beds in that studio than Sarah Palin's basement. But with Rebecca Jarvis you can tell a lot of it is bronze schmear.  CNBC: Wait, I mean a misogynist-feminist; I remember calling myself an MFer on Feministing. What is a misogynist-feminist, you ask? A feminist who is partial to huge-breasted feminists. I blame finance. There is money in finance so the women tend to be the hottest and the brainiest. 
me: As a socialist who is partial to self-hating capitalists I can't judge I guess? Except, women in finance are hot because the men who hire them are more often than not shitheads, and also: I love it when finance people tell me finance people are the smartest. As if Wall Street is the ultimate rewarder of profound thought. And yeah I don't think rewarder is a word but how would you know, you are in finance 
CNBC: Wall Street has gotten a bad rap, in my view. me: Because AIG wasn't technically on Wall Street? I don't understand. Because Wall Street has contributed so much to diversify our economy and strengthen our civilization? Because structured finance products have had such an unbelievably positive impact on the broader economy? Because until like September they really did do an admirable job of self-regulation? CNBC: Yes, exactly. I should say that when I think of Wall Street, I think of the corporate financiers, the investment bankers, even some of the analysts who remain. I never thought of AIG as Wall Street. I do not even think of Citi as Wall Street. 
me: Right, well, exactly, because you guys are really good at "compartmentalizing" until the whole fucking "counterparty risk" problem happens. And then suddenly it's time to go collect a few hundred billion from the fucking feds to protect all those vaunted "contracts" that might have deserved protection if Hank Paulson and his pals hadn't been so convinced the existence of all that "counterparty risk" would incentivize the financial sector to regulate itself. 
CNBC: I do not disagree with you that there was a huge amount of incompetence and perhaps other shortcomings on "Wall Street", but I do not subscribe to lumping it into one heaping mess. 
me: Finance is all about saying "my firm is the smartest, my group is the best, my people totally look down on all those other people who supposedly work in my industry but I obviously make more money than those plebes, at least I did until they fucking brought down the whole firm and I got cheated out of my rightful bonus this year, fuck this shit." There are just too many variables governing human existence in my view to take seriously the opinions of anyone who believes their paycheck means something larger about their value in the world or who assumes anyone smart is motivated by money, The End. 
CNBC: No, finance is how to make some entrepreneur's dream come true, how to take the returns and risk of a new venture, quantify them, package them to the most appropriate investors, and deliver cash to facilitate capital investment.Obviously, it morphed into a larger, corrupt beast, but it is not entirely Wall Street's fault. 
me: See…if only for all the collateral damage. If only all those accounting scandals hadn't creeped everyone into fixed-income products because they couldn't trust numbers, if only there was any such thing as "long term," if only our economy weren't relatively mature thus causing the reality of your admirable ideal to pretty much consist of "raiding, fleecing and raping companies for all the cash you can squeeze out of them and/or ripping off the government somehow." 
CNBC: You know, I was never a fan of fixed income or derivatives, so there is not much I can add there. I just would caution against a full-out attack on "finance". I just searched on CNBC.com and it seems Joe Perella has never been on CNBC 
me: I guess my attack is mostly on Late Capitalism but "structured"/fancy fixed income products and derivatives both dwarf the equity market so like, that's the reality. I think finance exists to create inefficiencies they get to exploit because they control all the money. Like what % of Goldman's profit is trading? That just smells to me, but whatevs. I think finance is necessary but it should absolutely not be such a huge sector of the economy. 
: When I think of Wall Street, I think of guys like Joe Perella. I have this theory that the real players avoid CNBC. John Gutfreund has been on CNBC and his appearances are always hilarious. It is like the interviewer and interviewee are on totally different conversations, just like our chat at present. Yes, your attack is on casino capitalism. Without investment bankers, there would be no business. There would be no jobs. 
me: You know, "jobs" and "currency" and even "companies" and "investment" all existed before investment banking. And then investment banking died, and now the government is sort of like an investment bank and I dunno, maybe the market just likes the new management better than the old crew and that's why they're rallying. Maybe it's just that Obama is better than John Mack. Have you read much on this stimulus package? 
CNBC: The new Obama one? Nothing except that it is gargantuan and the market likey likey. What does the stimulus package have to do with the stocks in the Dow? Why was the Dow up 300? Is Foster-Wheeler in the Dow? Did it replace Kraft Cheese?  me: That is what I don't understand actually. They are not explaining it. Kudlow claims it is because the market is always a leading indicator. 
CNBC: I cannot think and type fast enough to convey my negativity in any reaction to Larry Kudlow. Look, I do rough NPV calculations in my head when I hear market news. Kudlow talks about discounting future cash flows, but the effects of any goverment plan are uncertain at best when it comes to stocks. Certainly, stocks of the Dow. How does an infrastructure program boost the sales and profitability of Chicken McNuggets? The government spends more and so construction workers are hired and they buy Chicken McNuggets? That is one hell of an economic analysis. 
me: Chicken McNuggets are sometimes on the dollar menu and when I was broke I ate them like 3 meals a day. And it looks like a lot of people go broke the way I did because MCD just reported a 7% increase in November same store sales which not even Wal-Mart is going to be doing. 
 Oh good grief, now they are talking about how the automakers need "outsiders" to fix them and THANK YOU SUE FUCKING HERERA for pointing out, "Hey, Nardelli is an outsider and that hasn't gone so well." Maybe she read my piece. Rick Santelli is so creepy when he is not yelling. So anyway, what is your overall beef? 
CNBC: Is he giving you that grin? Um, that there are so many day traders buying and selling ETFs based on what other day traders might anticipate how professional traders might do. Amateurs watching CNBC prolong bubbles. I am not blaming day traders per se, because most Americans do not have a corporate pension to fall back on. And there is nothing wrong with an inflated stock market as long as people recognize it is so and attribute nothing else to it. 
me: Dude, it was the "professionals" who did this. It was all fucking professionals. Did I ever share with you this. But if that means you agree with me that use value means more than exchange value, thanks. 
CNBC: I think we are both picking at bits of the problem when in fact, the entire economic system needs to be overhauled. My theory is that Obama fully recognizes this and his political instincts regulate how he behaves. I think he is banking on a narrow re-election in 2012 and he needs a full eight years to accomplish what has to be done. My only beef with the stock market is how appearances may hurt Obama in 2012. In reality, the market should be at about 5,000 now and for the next several years. I would hate it to be at 9,000 when he takes office and be down to 3,500 when he is up for re-election. The stock market indicates nothing. That by the way is my other huge beef with CNBC, this obsession with the "value" of the stock market. Too often, I have heard someone on CNBC report about some terrible economic news, then say, "but the market is taking it in stride". Who the fuck cares about the market? There are too many traders with brontosaurus brains out there. The brain is too small to begin with, and then the signal takes too long to make it down the neck for the rest of the body to act. 
me: But you should have seen the other day, on Fast Money, when the Fed said, oh my bad the economy had been contracting for a year, and Dylan Ratigan was like "oh THANKS guys, like we didn't realize the economy sucked, way to bring down the market"  
CNBC: The market should be at about 6,000 if all people were bright and reasonable. What difference does it make if Dylan complains of the Fed breaking down a facade slightly? 
me: It was just kind of hilarious. Like they were complaining that the Fed had been such an unnecessary downer when it reported news that wasn't helpful. 
CNBC: By the way, I should add my disclaimer: You are absolutely, positively FORBIDDEN from even THINKING about making any investment decisions based on this blog. No matter the negative things I say, I am actually LONG the stock market. Why? Because I am hopeful that eventually, I can actually retire, like maybe at 85 or 90. And I was taught you can't time the market. The ONLY investment decision I recommend is that you vote Democratic for the next twenty years and maybe you can retire too. If you are a Baby Boomer and not wealthy yet, you may be shit out of luck. If you find any material on this blog objectionable, blame my many years as a Republican. 
me: But there's a central conflict: you "can't time the market" because it's irrational, so there's this focus on technical short-term fluctuations, and everyone's big disclaimer right now is "this is a good market FOR TRADERS ONLY. A long-term hold is six or seven days. Etc. etc. etc." and I just think that kind of investment has on the whole done a lot more harm than good to the economy. 
CNBC: Well, that actually typifies the obfuscation that is the stock market. You recall that Kraft replaced AIG on the Dow, right? Well, we have Wal-Mart and MCD on the Dow as well, so those stocks will do well when people are poor. me: Had Kraft been replaced when Altria broke up or whatever? I thought it had been in the Dow. But yeah that's true, still the S&P has done really well too.   
CNBC: The Dow indicates nothing. More people buying Chicken McNuggets or Velveeta cheese or cheap Chinese goods at Wal-Mart does not indicate a healthy economy. But the Dow gets a boost no matter what, as demonstrated by the lift from Obama's infrastructure announcement. 
me: Do you blame this guy for everything? CNBC: You think that the short-sightedness of the stock market has hurt the economy? 
me: Absolutely yes. Otherwise why would our "blue chip" indexes be shifting around all the time? I don't know what to do about it but it seems obvious that there is no way to adequately incentivize long-term success. 
 Oh god Bill Griffeth just said that he just did some "research" and found out that the last time oil was $40 a barrel the Dow was at 11,000! That is some serious investigation Bill.   
CNBC: I am conflicted by the question of the amateurs on the stock market. On the one hand, they lift and sustain the valuations. On the other, they make it much more volatile. Would you rather have a lower, more stable stock market pricing paradigm, as we did when Wall Street was run by guys like John Houseman? 
 Maureen, my whole purpose for not watching CNBC was to not know what was being said there. And, by the way, of course, you can regulate how long traders have to keep their stock! You can totally destroy the short-term focus of the stock market and generate some good government revenues as well. There are plenty of professional money managers with amateurish talent who are being exposed by the market now. CNBC does not have the capacity to explain what is going on in the economy. It covers traders' reactions, but it does not delve into how the economic downturn is cascading through the economy. I guess that would be bad TV programming.   
me: You know what is really funny, their highest-rated program ever, even when it airs a 39th time, is this Wal-Mart documentary they did. Apparently it's a really sore subject with Joe Kernen. 
CNBC: Why is it a sore subject with Kernen? 
me: Because it is, as far as I know, a sort of nuanced and objective look at Wal-Mart's business practices? And maybe Kernen doesn't care about poor people, I don't know? But, as with that "This American Life" about the subprime mortgages, it would actually be good programming that people would watch I think. Hahaha now they are talking about how the rich are out-of-touch. 
CNBC: Obama says the economic recovery will not be instant and yet, the stock market will rally instantaneously at any whiff of optimism I am going to grab lunch. I will return later with a reply on Kernen. But taxation is the 8 trillion pound gorilla in the room that no one as yet has talked about. There is no way around it. me: What do you want to do with it? 
CNBC: And the only people who have money to be taxed are the rich. It is not a question of what I want, it is a question of basic math and what has to be done. Obama is a greater political genius than me, so I will defer to him when to bring out the punchline. I worry for him about it, but hell he got elected President so what the hell do I know? But the punchline looms. You cannot have a party without someone having to pay for it. 
CNBC: Do you have a Web cam?

More Over-The-Top Insightful Commentary From The...

Behind the blog CNBC Sucks. I have gotten some pretty classic emails from strangers in my day but rare is the stranger capable of so compellingly blending sociological observations, career advice, political commentary and sexual advances. Naturally, he is eager to meet Tracie. (P.S. CNBC Sucks would seem to be slightly disgruntled about getting banned from the Feministing community. I...

"the stock market remains a Baby Boomer neocon...

My new anonymous friend CNBC Sucks preaching to my unemployed grouchy ass choir: Yo Moe, I am feeling more and more pissed about the stock market. Do you understand why? This is absolutely ridiculous: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Stocks-turn-higher-shake-off-apf-13759816.html I am afraid for Obama’s re-election in 2012. I was hoping that the Dow would sink to 7,000 by Inauguration Day...

I knew Tim Geithner was going to turn out to be a...

Add XX Factor to your RSS reader today! Although I may continue to provide more XX-rated alternate headlines for my posts here. “I think part of the problem now, to be honest, is Sheila Bair has annoyed the ‘old boys’ club,’” Frank said today. “To some extent, bank regulation and mortgage foreclosure have made a situation where we have several regulators up in the tree house with a ‘no girls...

An intimate gathering of bank CEOs in 2002…

“I would resign rather than be expected to know everything that’s going on in my company. It’s just not tenable,” said an unnamed financial-services CEO. “That’s what I have a board for, that ‘s what I have a chief financial officer for. I simply can’t be held responsible for what all of those people do.” And yeah, Hank Paulson was there.